Contemplate dinner. Resist the oversized toblerone bar in the fridge. Proceed to the wardrobe and pick out an outfit (well, it is Saturday night). Pick out the tightest fitting dress. Angle side-ways and mutter disapprovingly of your waistline.
'Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.' Chant that repeatedly. Meditate if necessary.
Cave in and have some dinner. Realize that it doesn't taste that good anyway. Sulk.
Resist giant toblerone again. Brush your teeth. Put on retainers if necessary (It functions like an additional armor/barrier, you'll see). Put on dress 2hours early anyway just to remind yourself of how potentially skinny you might look. Put on your heels.
Totter haphazardly to Zouk. The pain is worth it. Your shoes cost 100pounds and 5inches high. Remember, you are working out 5 different muscle groups just to stand up straight.
Greet friends warmly. Drink copious amount of tequila. Lose all inhibitions. Have a dance-off with your (impossibly hot) writhing girlfriends.
Get nauseous, throw up. Head to supper with friends anyway because you get to hang out with that cute boy for a while longer. Get home, throw up more. Curse the impending hangover.
Wake up, with 2 hours of sleep. Curse the hangover. Head to gym to work off all the alcohol in your body. Run 5km at a self-loathing speed.
Rinse & Repeat for the whole of December.
Ta-dah.
*The Oversized Toblerone Bar is inspired by Jaslyn's hideous experience fighting it. She failed.
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So, I might be allergic to alcohol.
The day before term started, I drank too much and I had this strange rash all over me. I decided that it was imperative that I documented it, i.e. photo evidence. So, I did.
I then sent it to (some unfortunate) friends on whatsapp.
Here are some photos which I took that morning which did not contain the rash and/or weird parts of my body. It was a pleasant surprise when I found them though - I could hardly remember how it happen.
This was on burst.
I'm secretly a godawful narcissist.
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